Holding my baby girl

Monday, December 27, 2010

The All-Stars to this show...

Ladies and Gentleman... Please meet my 3 All-stars:




These 3 + me = FAMILY

As I was getting ready this morning, I was thinking about how this blog has been 98% about one person... Little Miss Kyli. Don't get me wrong, she's kind of a big deal, and she's gonna change my life completely. But please allow me to explain how Little Miss Kyli would not be possible without these 3 all-stars.

Let's start with Greg...

Greg is the type of kid who comes off as being a little shy at first. It takes a while to get down to the REAL Greg. But once you break through the shyness, he is about the funniest 12 year old I've ever met in my whole entire life. He's always cracking a joke, and has one of the cutest little smiles I've ever seen. And lets face it; the kid is a future heart breaker. Tall, blonde, light eyes, and has one of the most gentle hearts I've ever known. He is always so concerned with everyone's feelings, and wants to make sure that everyone feels comfortable. Not a day goes by that I don't get a hug from him, and it's probably one of my favorite little "Gregism's" that he's got.

He's very talented at football, but doesn't think of himself that way. What he is lacking in confidence, he actually makes up in talent (as backwards as that sounds). He is also a very talented artist. He can look at something and draw it without having to try that hard. It's amazing, especially to someone that CAN'T draw (like myself). I know that he will be successful in wherever life takes him.

He also has a very special way with kids. I don't know what it is about him, but kids are DRAWN to him. I'm guessing that babies (and kids in general) can sense when a person is just genuinely good, and that's why they love him so much. He makes my heart happy :)

On to the next All-Star... Chelsi

This girl is so so special. She's got a heart of gold as well. She is always thinking about others, and is probably the most polite 16 (almost 17) year old you've ever met in your life. Everything is "Yes ma'am, yes sir". She is a "teachers pet", which would make ANY parent proud. Her teachers are always talking about how wonderful she is, and constantly nominating her for awards that show just what a good person she is. She is INCREDIBLY smart as well. She doesn't give herself enough credit on how smart she is. She has potential like I've never seen in anyone... I know that Chelsi can be anything that she wants to be, because she is pretty much capable of anything.

She's got a little bit of a stubborn side like her daddy, but that is what will get her far in life. She's not gonna be someone to just sit back and let people walk all over her. She's going to be a superstar in whatever she decides to conquer, and it is because SHE will have worked for it and didn't let anyone take advantage of her. I know that she probably thinks her daddy is a little bit more tough with her sometimes, but it is because HE KNOWS the potential and awesome power that she possesses, and doesn't want to see it go to waste. My goodness, how did I get so lucky with a 16 year old teenage girl?? This girl is going to go places!

With everything she has been through, she has such a strong foundation. She is a christian, my friend, and also has one of the sweetest hearts I've ever had the pleasure of being around. I know that her little sister is going to look up to and absolutely ADORE her. Who wouldn't?? She is exactly the example that I want my daughter to look up to. I am so proud of her!

And last, but certainly not least... Billy

My oh my... this guy has changed my life COMPLETELY. He always has me guessing. Life has been one big adventure ever since I met him, and it's something that I absolutely needed. Before Billy came along, I was living a very simple... mundane... PREDICTABLE life. I was bored, to put it quit simply.

But as soon as he came into my life, I tasted this life of adventure and passion, and I simply couldn't get enough. He took my heart and held it... He held it hard. He wasn't going to let go of it either, (cliche, yes I know, but so very true). I've laughed, I've cried, I've screamed, I've LIVED. He makes my heart melt with every hug and every kiss he gives me. I have never been so head over heals in love with someone. He introduced me to Mommyhood about 2 years ago whenever I met his kids. I knew then that my life would never be the same. He rang in my year with a proposal, married me in May, and we are now hopefully finishing off the year with a brand new human being! Now THAT is a magical year, and not boring at all :)

I know that with him, life will always be exciting. We've made a life long commitment to each other to always keep life fun and exciting, and that's exactly how it will be. I know that he will be such a great father to Kyli, because I see how great he is with his kids. He feels such a huge NEED to have his kids with him. My mom and dad have never felt so secure with my future in another man's hands before. I'm constantly told "I'm so glad you have Billy... I know he will take care of you", and you know what? I think they are right. I KNOW they are right. I've never felt such love and strength as I feel with him.

So as you see, though this blog has been 98% based on Kyli B's arrival, and my "new adventure" into Mommyhood, I've done these 3 (and you all reading this, quite frankly) a disservice by not telling you where my foundation and strength has comes from. It comes from my 3 all-stars.

Sometimes life is a little crazy, and sometimes I wish that life would be a little bit more boring... But then I sit and think about how my life was before these 3, I realize that I am right where I need to be.

So thank you, Greg - Chelsi - Billy ... You've truly made me who I am, and placed me where I have always wanted to be a long time ago... Right here in Mommyhood :)

Sunday, December 26, 2010

A Christmas Baby you are not...

Well little girl... let me tell you a story of what you did about 10 days ago.

So your daddy and I were saying our prayer to you over my stomach, as we do every night, and when we were done, your daddy started talking to you.

My stomach was rock hard all night long, and whenever we went to bed, your daddy was talking about how my stomach had gotten softer. Whenever he started talking to you, he said "Now Kyli, we get to see you in 23 days... and then 22... and then 21.... then 20... "etc. Whenever he got to 13 days, you went CRAZY! BOOM BOOM BOOM!! Knockin him in the head...

So I said "THAT'S IT! That is when we will see her!"

We counted backwards on the calender, and 13 days from your due date is what day...? Christmas!!!

I was so excited. I had told you all along that if you would be my little Christmas present, then I would make every birthday JUST AS SPECIAL, as if it weren't on Christmas day. I know that people with Christmas bdays aren't that happy about them, but I promised you that I would make it just as equally awesome. I mean, who better to share your birthday with than the good Jesus Christ from above?.. Know what I'm sayin??

But alas... Christmas has come and gone. It was yesterday, and I'm pretty sure you didn't come then, so I guess we'll just have to continue to play the waiting game for you.

I do not mind though, because as soon as you make your presence known, then all the waiting will be over and I'll just get to hold you and kiss you and love on you like I want to.

1 week and 6 days left. Wait... isn't that 13 days? Hmmm... oops.

Anyway, Merry Christmas one day late everyone!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Paranoia Has Set In....

So I'm assuming all of this is normal. I've been having some CRAZY dreams lately about my little girl being harmed while she's still in my stomach.

Crazy Dream #1:

(fair warning, I have really twisted dreams on the norm, so these aren't that far fetched from what I usually experience).

So the whole family was going out to dinner. But for whatever reason, you had to climb DOWN this huge stone wall to get to the restaurant. I'm 34 weeks pregnant at this time, and I start climbing down the wall (idiot...) and for some reason, I get the huge sensation that I'm about to start falling. I can't quite grab onto the wall right, can't find foot holes, and I remember my hands slowly start to slip on the wall.

I start praying "God, please hold onto me... If I fall, I will die and so will Kyli. I can't lose her". And then all of a sudden, the literal hand of God pushed me over to the most secure part of the wall, and I climbed the rest of the way down.

I remember waking up in a panic, and MAD at myself for even attempting to climb down a wall while I was pregnant! I know it was a dream, but it felt so real, and it really haunted me.

Crazy Dream #2:

I'm 35 weeks pregnant at this point. I dream that my sister Heather and I are taking the train somewhere. Well, whenever we get back to the train station, we are walking back to her car and see this man trying to install something on the back of her tire in order to steal it.

So I get in the mans face (idiot... again.) and start screaming at him. He starts running away, and I start chasing him... (haha, you know this is a dream, cause who's really running at 35 weeks pregnant??) Anyway, he finally stops and turns around. I say "What, you gonna hit a pregnant woman??"

AND BAM! He punches me right in the stomach. HARD.

I woke up right after that, and grabbed Billy and asked him to hold me. I was terrified!

So what do all of these dreams mean??? Is it just anxiety that I'm facing, as I'm slowly coming closer to Mommyhood? If I had to analyze myself, that is what I would say is the problem. Maybe I'm just becoming scared of anything happening to Kyli. It's amazing how I already feel like a big ol' "mommy bear" to her... I would absolutely die for her, and I will do whatever it takes to protect her. I can't imagine how much stronger that feeling is going to be whenever she's actually born and I hold her for the first time.

Sorry this post is sorta depressing! We've got about 4.5 more weeks til our baby girl is here, and that is 4.5 weeks til her actual DUE DATE. That means she could come at anytime really and be fine. I want to make it to Christmas at least. That would be 38 weeks exactly!

And then, Baby Girl, you are more than welcome to come on down! (quite literally.)