Holding my baby girl

Friday, September 24, 2010

On to Month 2

Man... I remember thinking "I already look so fat!" when I took this picture. Hindsight is 20/20!

Well, month 2.... What do I say about you? (yes, rhyming was intentional).

Still hadn't seen the doctor yet. You had to be between 8-12 weeks to get in with the doctor, and I was going in on week 12! Talk about suspense.

For whatever reason, I felt like I was having a boy. I can't explain it.... I just KNEW I was having a boy.

(P.S. you can't see the "Baby" and arrow pointing down, but this is the costume/shirt that I wore to tell the families about our impending babyness :)

I remember being so tired this month! I was also an emotional wreck a lot of times.... I wasn't very talkative, and I felt like I had PMS a lot. Lordy lordy.... that doesn't sound fun does it?

One night, pretty soon after we found out that I was pregnant, I had an emotional breakdown. I was so nervous that something was going to happen to this baby, and I feared the worst possible thing that could happen in those crucial beginning months: Miscarriage.

I cried to Billy... I cried HARD.

My mom and grandma both had miscarriages with their first babies, and I know that stuff isn't hereditary, but that doesn't mean that you don't THINK it can be hereditary. You think all sorts of things, and worry all sorts of worries when you are pregnant. It's just what you do.

One day, I decided that I was going to just put this in God's hands. Should've done that a long time ago right...? Maybe save me some tears and sobs and save Billy a wet shoulder, chest, cheek, hand, etc.

So how do you tell God to just take over? You pray. You pray a lot.

I came up with a prayer. I'm quite the poet when the mood strikes me just right, and so I wrote it down on paper.

(Interesting side note: I used to write books of poems when I was a kid… that was a “fun” thing for me to do. I once told my mom “I can write a poem about anything! Tell me what I should write about”. She was in the kitchen, about to start cooking at the time. She said “write a poem about frozen chicken”. And yes, I wrote a poem about frozen chicken. I’ll have to whip out some of my mad skills on this blog someday…. You all would be impressed ;) And have a good laugh at the same time).

The poem/prayer literally took me about 7 minutes to think of and write it all out. It just CAME to me. I was speaking the words of my heart, and I was speaking exactly what I wanted God to do in me, and Billy, and our baby.

Our Baby's Prayer

Now we lay us down to sleep,
God bless our baby's precious feet,
Their eyes, their ears, their cheeks and toes,
God bless our baby as they grow.

Give them a heart as strong as Yours,
For our love for them now steadily pours,
Guide us as we trust in you,
And let us know that we'll pull through.

All these things we ask right now,
Show us your grace as we bow down,
Keep growing, Dear Baby, as we grow in love,
And thank you God for this gift from above.


Billy and I pray this prayer over my stomach every.single.night. We both place our hands on my tummy, and say it in unison. It's the way we end our evening.

After we say the prayer, Billy leans over to my stomach and just talks. Sometimes all he'll say is "Good night sweet baby, your mommy and daddy love you". Or sometimes he'll go on and on and just talk for a good couple minutes... (those are my favorite talks to "eavesdrop" on).

And guess what? After we started praying this prayer, my worries seemed to subside, and I was able to just be EXCITED about the baby again. I knew that God had our precious little seed in His hand, and that He was going to take care of it all. He was going to ease my worries, dry Billy's shoulders of my tears (for the most part), and take care of it all.

I literally do not know how someone that is carrying a precious little baby doesn't feel like the baby is a miracle. A miracle straight from God. How thankful I am to Him!!!

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